My little guy

Yesterday morning Cameron decided to wake up at 6:40ish. Lovely. I had already taken a shower and was getting dressed but this is getting crazy. It seems the earlier I get up and get dressed the earlier they get up. Do they hear me getting ready or something since we move their rooms? Strange.

I did manage to take this cute video of Cameron though before M left for work. I am still amazed every time I look at them on film or in a video. They still look like little babies when I look at the each day but when I see them in something like this I realize just how big they really are getting!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I thought I was okay with it

Well, I met with the school yesterday and Noah got in the developmental preschool and Cameron didn't. Just as we thought would happen. I really, really thought I was okay with this and have found so many positive things about it. But all I can think of is my sweet little 3 year old getting on a bus all alone. No brother or mommy there. He has NEVER been away from all of us totally on his own. The reality of that didn't hit me until yesterday and now I can't get the picture out of my head. They have always had each other even if we weren't there.

And of course Cameron decided to be CRANKY this morning and I am very afraid this is what it will be like every day that Noah gets on the bus and he has to stay behind. He is the one who WANTS to go and do these things. So hard being a parent at times emotionally! I know I just have to find something to make our (Cameron) time special. But just the though of explaining this to them both before and during, is just painful for me. They both want what the other child will be getting. It makes me sad. I know it will be okay and they will adjust and this is for the best. I know all these things in my logical portion of my head. But my heart still aches for them both. And this morning when I dropped them off at "school" I had to tell their teachers and the director. That made it even more real. And the teachers were sad and said they were going to lose their "snuggle bug." And I keep thinking what is Cameron going to do during this adjustment time?

Oh, the thought of all this makes my head spin, or wait, is that the vertigo? To top all of this off I have an inner ear infection. No telling how long I have had this stupid thing but I know the last 4-5 days have been pretty miserable. I have lost nearly 5 pounds because of the nausea. I wanted to lose weight but not this way. I really just want the room to stop spinning and be able to walk without drifting. Ha!

Luminaries

I am seriously behind on photos at the moment. So that means my Project 365 blog is way behind. I don't think I have let it get this behind ever. I have loved doing this and will continue on into 2010. I think it will be a great thing to have when the boys are older for them to see a little of each of our days.


Our neighborhood does this really cool luminary event. They place luminaries all over the sidewalks and everyone turns on their Christmas lights and we light up the neighborhood. The boys loved driving around looking at all the lights. It is so much fun with them now understanding so much. Man, I just keep thinking 2010 is going to be an exciting year for us. I am really looking forward to it. Will add pictures after I download them!

Random meanderings

If anyone needs to know what to get me for Christmas I need some kind of heated foot warmer thingy. Ha! I hate that my feet always stay cold. And the fact that our temperatures this year have been MUCH colder than last doesn't help. It didn't get this cold until January last year. We had it lucky I guess our first year here. Not that I like it any less, just have to adjust and adapt. :)

It is so great having others who "get" what you are experiencing. Being new to an area and having to start all over again is tough. I mean really tough when you have done it as many times as I have. Even before I met my husband I had moved a lot. And together he and I have moved a total of four time and we have only been married five years, but living together almost seven. That sounds better I guess on the number of times we moved. All but one of the moves have been cross-country. And we stayed in the same house for four years (the first four years we were married) and thought that was a record!

But anyway, back to the "getting it" thing. It is tough when you have know what you need to find logically but can't figure out how to find it. Logically speaking I know I need to find other moms to hang out with my kiddos and do stuff with. But man it is so tough to break out of "routine" and make an effort. Especially with twin nearly three year old boys who act wild and crazy and you are constantly chasing them around instead of talking with the other moms. I know this will change as the boys get older. I am positive it will, they are already doing better with it. But it still doesn't make it any easier at the moment.

I did finish our Christmas card today (well, did the whole thing actually). Thankfully M kept the boys so I could do this seeing as it took half the day. Crazy. The strange part for me is that once it finally does come together it happens quickly. It just takes forever to get to that point. So I guess I can share it when I get them all sent out. :)

I'm okay now

I'm okay now with everything. I know it will all work out the way it is supposed to. I have faith. I also was able to get some good insight from the boy's OT, some great friends and some fellow twin parents who have been in similar situations. So that is a huge help in the comforting department. So on to worrying about other things. :)

I took 159 pictures yesterday. How in the world did I manage to take 150 pictures on a "jammie day" for the boys? We stayed inside the ENTIRE day. They didn't even get dressed. What's up with that? They are converting to jpeg's as I type this. Going to take FOREVER. Guess that means that after they finish I will have to find a cute one to post.

Part of the reason I took so many yesterday is that I have yet to do my Christmas cards. Last year I got extremely lucky. I fed them a snack in front of the Christmas tree and let them play with a string of lights.

I figured I couldn't do that two years in a row. Although I did try bribing them to sit together and both look at me and smile with a cookie. Didn't work. So I am probably going to go with the "this is what our days are like" picture for the Christmas card. Meaning one going in one direction and the other going in totally the opposite. Or one looking and the other not. Oh well, it will eventually come together. So if you don't get our Christmas card until Christmas Eve or after you will know why. :)

First of many decisions like this

Well, it has turned out pretty much as I suspected it would and now I have to make a decision. I am torn by so many emotions over this decision. I am sure this is the first of many like this I will face with the boys, but it has conjured up a whole range of emotions.

Noah has qualified for the developmental preschool and Cameron hasn't. I know I need to send Noah but do I fight to get Cameron in? I am not sure Noah is ready to be separated from Cameron. If it were the other way around I would say no problem. But it isn't. And it has turned out just like I feared it would.

I am actually happy Cameron didn't qualify and was hoping neither of them would. But Noah just won't participate in class and during his evaluation hardly even acknowledged that the people were in the room. He did his usual thing of doing his own thing on his own terms. And I still can't figure out if that is just him being stubborn or if there really is something wrong there. I know he is intelligent, he shows it so many ways, but he is just stubborn and is a sensory kid. His OT thinks he may have Auditory Processing Disorder but that usually isn't diagnosed until they are 6 or older. So now I have to play this waiting game and I have to admit it is agonizing at times.

It doesn't help matters when Cameron came back "Advanced" on several of his scores. It also didn't help that I got Cameron's evaluation on Saturday and just received Noah's today. Then of course I start blaming myself. How can I have two children the same age and one be so far behind the other? What did I do wrong? The logical side of me knows it is just they are two different children and developing at their own pace. But the mommy side of me has a heart that is breaking and feeling like I failed my child.

Going to get all this out of my system tonight and then stop worrying over it. We go next week to meet about this and I will just have faith that it will work itself out.

My growing boys

Cameron is quite the little artist. He decided it was time to try his little hand at coloring the walls, door and window. It was pretty funny actually. I had to restrain myself from laughing right in front of him when I discovered this. And of course I had to go and grab the camera but haven't downloaded the pictures yet. So this is him coloring at his easle. He decided his comfy chair was in order that day both to stand and to sit on while coloring. He just cracks me up.

I just finished cleaning out separating the boy's clothes in their closets. I had a few things in Cameron's room before but hadn't really finished it yet. Basically he was running out of clothes in his room so I was forced to do this today. Ha!

I always thought I had a ton of clothes for the boys. When you split them up it really doesn't look like much. I guess having two people's clothes in one closet makes it look like way more than what you have in reality. Wow. I am kind of shocked. I also realized I have one sweater for them. One. It is 34 degrees here today and only the first of December. Guess I need to go shopping. And I think we are about to graduate to 4T jammies and even some 4T clothes. Cameron is definitely in a growth spurt. He finished off two waffles this morning and asked for another one. He has been eating like crazy. It just all kind of snuck up on me how fast they are really growing. Sigh. It is just strange for me because they stayed in 24 month and 2T things for over a year and then just all of the sudden, wham, they almost skipped over the 3T stuff.

It really should be Sunday

I have felt a day off for the last several days now. Oh well, guess I will get back on track at some point next week.

Okay, Noah has started calling Cameron "Pain." Not sure if this is actually what he was saying in the beginning but that is what it sounded like. When I would ask him he would stop saying it. Then I would ask Cameron what Noah was saying and he would just look at me like I was crazy or something. Like, don't you understand?

Well, today Cameron started not liking him calling him "Pain." Anytime Noah would say it Cameron would come back with the pouty face and say, "I am not Pain." So that would make Noah say it even more. They crack me up. No idea where all the stubbornness comes from. Hmm...

The rooms are going well so far. Tomorrow night will make a week. Still haven't taken any pictures. They feel so empty to me. Have to get several things for both of their rooms and I have to put some stuff up on the wall. I let them both pick out what they wanted as the "theme" for their rooms. Surprise, they both picked cars, boats, trains and airplanes. Go figure. So I found a cute lamp at Target and this I guess will be my starting point. I got some canvases the other day and want to attempt painting them with their names to hang. Not really sure if I can paint or not but have wanted to attempt this for a while now.

We put up the tree today. The boys were funny. They loved hanging the bulbs and actually did a very good job with the help of their daddy picking them up to reach the higher spots. I just want to capture every moment on film or video but know I can't. I wonder at times if they will ever look at the thousands of pictures or videos I have taken. I know I often wish I had more of my past saved.

Blessed

I am really and truly blessed. Lucky, whatever you want to call it. I call it blessed. I have had so many sweet moments with the boys this last week I can hardly recall all of them at the moment. One of the ones that truly stands out to me is the other night I was putting Cameron to bed. He has really started to love having us read his Bible to him every night before bed (a while back I got them their own Children's Bibles) and it is really something that makes me feel so very blessed every time he asks for it. We read it for a while and then he falls asleep, usually with it open, a while later. I love this picture every night when I go in.

But that is not the sweet moment I had with him the other night. We were reading about Zacchaeus and I told him I knew a song about Zacchaeus and asked if he wanted me to sing it to him. He, of course since he LOVES music of any kind, said yes. So after I sang that several times he asked for another "Bible song" over and over again until I had exhausted every "Bible song" I knew.

Then last night when M and I were going to bed he told me that the night before when he had Cameron on the changing table Cameron said "I am God and you are Jesus." It cracked me up of course. He has really been into pretending he is other people, things or animals these days. So this statement caught me way by surprise. And I couldn't help but fall asleep being thankful last night for a little guy that is already, at the age of nearly 3, wanting to learn so much about God.

Quick update on the new rooms

I am beyond tired tonight so need to get to bed but feel I have neglected my poor blog enough these days. We switched the boys to their own rooms on Sunday night. So far so good. I think they are both really going to enjoy it. I also have to remember to tell you about Noah's nick name for Cameron. It is pretty funny and I am afraid it may stick! Will do so when I am actually awake though. Must remember to take pictures tomorrow!

Changes ahead

I don't know if I am ready for this. We are going to move the boys into their own rooms this next weekend/week. I have been going back and forth in my head as to if I should put them in toddler beds at the same time. You know, just get it all over at once. Hmm...

When I first started asking the boys about sleeping in their own rooms they both said yes. But now, that I have explained it a little further Cameron is saying no, he wants to sleep with Noah. One night he even went so far as to say he wanted to sleep in Noah's bed. Hmm...

So am I crazy for doing this? Cameron is the one who can sleep through anything (he gets that honestly from me I think, I even slept through a fire one time as a kid with everyone running around screaming "fire"). Noah on the other hand. He is provoked by Cameron but then get so wound up and can't fall asleep. Once asleep all is well. But man, some nights he will lay in there for an hour and chatter away. Hmm...

My hope is that not only will this give each of them their own space and help each to sleep better, but also to give me some more one-on-one time with them. Allowing me to cuddle with Noah when he needs the extra time without feeling like I am short changing Cameron. It is truly a "monkey see, monkey do" craziness around here these days and I always feel so guilty when Noah is having a rough time and I hold him and Cameron stays in his bed. I have taken to picking each one up and rocking them while I read a few books. That way they both get a turn. But some nights this just isn't enough for Noah. So hoping that by separating them it will help this as well as the initial getting wound up. Hmm...am I crazy for doing this now?

Sick kiddos

The boys have been sick and grouchy. So that means I have been tired and grouchy. But we are getting through it. Noah is off the steroids (had croup) and so hopefully within the next 3-4 days will be back to his old self. Man, this going to bed at 11:00 pm is not a good thing! Attempting to wear them out today though. I really want to get the post I mentioned before posted soon. So must have some time to compile my thoughts!

Mama said there'd be days like this...

Something went wonky with my blog today so until I can figure out how to fix it (which may be a while at my pace these days) it will just have to stay simple. Hmm, not sure what happened but it had some wacky colors for the background, etc. Missing my old header and such already!

Today was one of those days that was just full of mixed feelings and emotions. One moment all was going well and the next it was all falling apart. Great example...we had gone to story time at the library and they had fun and we even got to see some friends we haven't seen in a while (added bonus!). After we went and the boys wanted to look at books and then they spotted the computer. I can't keep them away from those things when we are there. They did fine and all playing on the thing it was just when they were wearing the headphones they would get a wee bit loud (although I shouldn't have minded as someone else had a screaming kid the entire time so I shouldn't have felt bad about them talking loudly I guess). So after a while I decided it was time to go. Enough computer.

Noah was okay with it, Cameron however was not. And he let me know. Every. Step. Of. The. Way. He has started this new thing that when he doesn't want to go somewhere he will lay down on the ground and not get up and walk. Oh my. Usually I just go with it and say whatever and make it into a game. But today just wasn't in the cards. So I picked him up kicking and screaming and carried him to the car. Noah was a perfect little child through all of this, which that in itself is very surprising. He used to join in as well. I think he takes after me. Anytime there was conflict in my family I would become super well behaved or when I got older, start cleaning for some reason. I was joking about this with the boy's OT and she said it was my way of "organizing" myself. Go figure.

So, we get in the car and Cameron is still doing the ear piercing scream. I finally get him calmed down and off we go. Everything is just about testing limits right now and two of them doing this at the same time is just wearing me out. I have lost all sanity at this point. Nothing is done anymore without checking at least a dozen times I am going to do or say the same thing these days. It is EXHAUSTING! I seriously don't know how people with lots of kiddos do this. I am losing my mind with just two of them.

Okay, enough whining from me for the day. My pity party is over for now. Tomorrow is a new day and this too shall pass.

I think I jinxed it

The boys got really quiet this afternoon and had been playing nicely together so I knew something was up. They were doing something they shouldn't. This is what I walked in on...

I was thinking to myself yesterday that Noah hasn't been sick in a very long time. And the more I thought of it the more I realized that last year he didn't get sick nearly as much as Cameron and when he did it was almost always with croupe. So what has happened tonight? He has been sleeping restlessly for the last hour or so and I am so afraid he is going to be sick now. Every time I think of something like that it happens. Ugh! I know I jinxed it and now I will have a sick little guy...watch. I will bet money on it I am that confident because I thought this thought yesterday he will get sick soon. Man!

The boys have really been going at each other the last few weeks. I kept praying it was a short lived phase but I am really at a loss as to what to do with them. Any fellow multiple moms out there that have any advice PLEASE let me know! We have tried every option their developmental therapist and books I have read came up with and then some it seems. We have even been trying to give them more one on one time with each of us. I am thinking that seems to have made it worse almost. Today at school Cameron had two time outs, both for sitting on or attempting to bite Noah. Thankfully it is just them doing this to each other but still. I know that when we get the option to separate them in school I will be doing it. No questions asked.

What an amazing and beautiful gift my little ones gave me today. As we were walking they each did something to just melt my heart. Noah ran up to Cameron at one point and wanted to hold his hand while they were walking. Then later one C found a ladybug on the path and he waited (not so patiently I might add) for her to fly up on his hand. He was so proud to carry her nearly all the way home. We thought she had flown away but once home disocvered she must have flown into his jacket because I found her again shortly after we made it back home. He was so sweet and laid on the couch next to her talking to her and jsut wanting to be near her. My child who doens't want anyone to touch him at the moment couldn't get enough of this little ladybug and displayed such sweet compasion and interest. He finally agreed that we could let her go home to her family and friends outside after much, much saying he wanted to hold her. I love to have conversations with my children these days. They are just so stinking cute!

Wow, I can't believe this is the boys 3rd Halloween. It really doesn't feel like it. This is their first year:

This is their second year (couldn't get a shot of them together to save my life!):

And this is this year:

They are getting so big and continue to amaze me every day. They even picked out their own costumes this year! When C decided he wanted to be Batman we said okay. N wouldn't pick out a costume so we went home and decided we would try again another day. While I was playing with the boys C wanted to dress up in his Batman costume so we were all playing and I mentioned Robin and Batman being friends. Immediately N wanted to be Robin. So off to the store we went. It was very cute actually. That night they both put the costumes on and ran around the house and kept calling each other "friend." Makes a mommies heart swell with pride and warm fuzzies!

We had a great time today. The boys got to go to a trunk or treat this morning for my MOPS group and then they got to trick or treat around the neighborhood adn then come home to give out candy. I was shocked that C wanted to go home way before N. N would have kept on going but I finally convinced him we would have so much more fun giving out candy. :)

Friday at last...

Our fun festivities today...

I feel like I have been neglecting both this and my project 365 blogs lately. Although I am posting daily on my other I am not publishing them at the moment simply because I am not having the time to download and go through all the photos. Eeek! And I can only see this getting worse with the holidays quickly approaching.

I have decided to separate the boys and give them each their own rooms. I am thinking this will help with several of the going to bed issues we have been having lately. Also, I realized they are around at least one other person literally 24/7. That has to be tough. They don't have their own space or anywhere to just go when they want to be alone. I have found them both heading upstairs when they just need a few minutes to themselves. Or Cameron will go in another room and if you go in to check on him he tells you to leave (working on him learning to do this politely I might add). I just really think it's time. I have even asked them and they both say yes, they want their own room. However, I am not so sure they understand what this means. It's not like I have oodles of time to make this happen before the holidays so I guess I have more time to ponder how to do this the best way. Thankfully we are blessed with a house large enough to be able to do this for them...so I feel it needs to happen and the sooner the better in my eyes.

Trick or Treat...a little early

These are what I sent to the boy's class today for special treats for the kiddos. I am such a geeky mom. I love doing stuff like this and wish I had more time for it. Yes, I will want to be one of those home room moms that loves to do stuff for the class. I just hope I don't embarrass my kiddos too much!

I have a post I started a while back and am on the fence about posting. I don't want to offend but it came from my heart and it is just what I am dealing with at the moment. I had been reading another multiple mom's blog and I just sat and wrote, and wrote and wrote some more after reading it. Being a twin mom is all I know. I don't know what it is like to have one child at a time and some days I have really longed to know what that feels like...and I have felt much guilt over having those feelings. So maybe I will post it soon. Just still on the fence.

Things the boys said today that made me crack up: We were driving along and I noticed Noah's head down like he may be asleep so I said, "Noah are you awake?" His response..."No." Then later in the afternoon shortly after Cameron's meltdown (or maybe it was during), I said "Everything for you has been so tragic today." To which Cameron exclaimed in a tearful voice, "I am not tragic!" I had to walk away from the car (I was putting him in his car seat at the time) because I was laughing so hard and he was crying. I didn't want him to see me laughing at what he had said.

I can't get over the fact the boys will be three in just two months. It still shocks me every time I think about it.

I was sick for for a few days and still not back to 100%, although I am so thankful to be feeling better! I was reading a blog last night (and I wish I could remember which one) but it mentioned that as a twin parent you often find yourself asking the "What if" and the "If only" questions a lot when you have multiples.

I have found myself asking this a lot the last almost 3 years and have felt much guilt over this. The author went on to say that instead of asking yourself these questions why not count your blessings. Instead of asking "If only I had one baby I could spend so much more time with just them and life would be so much easier because we would have just one to deal with." Why not say "How exciting our life is because we have two beautiful children to share this life with and they have each other."

So today, in the midst of all the craziness I found myself really and truly enjoying my children and playing with them. The housework could wait, heck, everything else could wait. I wanted to savour that moment and truly study my children in these sheer moments of happiness. Oh my what a difference it made in my day. Now I just have to think about this every day and remind myself how truly blessed I am to have twins. I have always lived by the philosophy (He never gives you anything you can't handle" but I will say these last three years have been very trying in so many different ways. Ways I never imagined. I guess that is called growing.

They asked and asked

Oh my what an interesting day! The boys wanted Daddy all morning but he had to work. They miss him so very much and when he is here they want to spend every minute with him. Makes my heart ache when he is away or is not able to spend the time with them they so desperately desire.

In an effort to distract them I was going to take them to "run some errands" this afternoon. Really just get out of the house and hope they fell asleep for just a little while in the car. I went and filled the car up with gas and it is near a place they go from time to time to play for a few hours when I have an appointment or stuff. Drop in child care. They asked over and over and over again to go so I finally just said, okay, if you really want to go. So the boys spent their afternoon there.

I was kind of in shock all afternoon. I didn't know what to do with myself. I came home and cleaned and then sat and watched some shows I have had on DVR for like 3 weeks. DVR is filling up so I have to get busy watching these things or delete them. I am so not a TV watcher. So I like to be able to watch 2 or 3 shows at a time and just fast forward through all the commercials. Thank goodness for whoever invented DVR! And tomorrow they go to PDO so I will be able to get more cleaning done and possibly some organizing as well. This is such a very strange feeling. Is this what I am going to feel when they start school for real? I kind of feel lost to be honest. Strange. Very strange.

I will say this though. It is pretty cool they are actually WANTING to go places now instead of just wanting to stay "at home" with me all the time. Opens all kinds of new doors for us!

Be careful what you say...

The boys rocking out.

Once again this afternoon it was proven to me that you have to be really careful what you say in front of my children. Cameron had fallen from the couch and M had gone over and picked him up before I got over there. Of course I have to check him out and make sure he is okay and I kept asking him questions and finally my hubby said rather huffily "Here, you just take him." Um, that sounded mad to me so I of course got huffy back and said something about him being "pissy." Of course Cameron looks at his dad and says "Dad, you all pissy?" I had to hold my head down and laugh hysterically while I was putting on my shoes. What else can you do? Just praying he doesn't use that word again...especially at school!

Potty says here we come!

Well, I think we may be officially on the road to potty training Cameron. The last few days he has asked about going potty and wanting to sit on the potty. So we did this several times both yesterday and today. This evening after their bath he asked to get out and said he needed to go potty and sure enough he did! Woo-hoo! Yes, I know, I shouldn't get too excited but hey, it's a start. I haven't really done anything with them about potty training other than get them the little ones and let them sit on them when they ask. Not pushing it in the slightest and figured I would know when they are ready. I guess now I need to figure out what I am supposed to do now that one of them is indeed ready. Oh my! Wasn't expecting that one this week!!!!

And strangely enough my best friend's little girl who is just a month older than my boys has also decided she wanted to stop wearing diapers. I thought that was pretty funny today when I read that on her blog and then Cameron did that tonight. See Cathy, we are linked in more ways than we realized!

This and that...

Sitting here downloading pictures while the boys are kind of napping. I have taken to driving them around in the car until they fall asleep and then coming home and putting them in bed. Or at least that is what I tried today. Noah is awake, Cameron is asleep. Yesterday I sat in my car for 30 minutes while they slept. Guess I should have done the same thing today. Oh well...they so need the nap still but so don't want to take it! We are finding our groove again though.

Love yoga. Need I say more on that topic?

Joining my first ever book club I think. How fun! Not sure what to expect. Does that sound silly or what?

Scrappy days

Well, I decided one of the ways to make me scrap more is to join in on a contest or two. Always guaranteed to get me scrapping again. I loved the kit for this weeks round and the only thing I would change about this one is the lettering for the title. I still don't have everything loaded on to the new computer so my font choices were limited and I wasn't able to use an alphabet from another kit. But this turned out cute in my opinion so I was happy. Cameron was thrilled to get this little orange car finally! You can check out my layout if you want over here for my entry.

Credits: Kit was A New Day by Christy Skaggs

Fonts: Impact, Times New Yorker, and VT Portable Remington

Fun kit to work with and I can see me using this a lot for pictures from this summer. Has some fun colors and of course Cameron's favorite orange in it. That is actually harder to find than one might think. But it was the perfect match for his new favorite shirt. :)

The gym

I did it. I joined a gym this morning. I didn't work out but I took the first step! I do plan to go tomorrow and am making my appointment with a trainer to learn what I need to be doing. Woo-hoo!

So why is it if we know that certain foods and such are so much better for us we still eat all the junk? I think for me it is convenience and worrying about my kiddos. I love fresh fruits and yet I find myself not eating them nearly as much as I used to. I think part of me wants to make sure I have them for the kids each day and don't run out. Does that sound crazy or what? Trying to change my thinking but man is it hard to do. I did do one thing that I am hoping will help. I subscribed to a local delivery service that provides fresh fruits and vegetables from the local farmers. If it is being delivered to my home I am more likely to eat it and not worry so much about having enough since it will come weekly.

One of my frustrations since we have moved here is the huge lack of good produce at the local grocery stores. It is sad. I live in the middle of farm country and yet the produce is all moldy and half bad before I even get it home. I have become VERY selective on what I am bringing home these days because I have ended up throwing so much of it away. You get a thing of strawberries or blueberries home and open it to discover moldy ones in there...and you just bought it the day before. Ugh!

My mom asked me the other day if I took them back to where I got it. I told her I gave up. I would be taking stuff back nearly daily if I did that. And I just can't run to the store every day to pick up fresh stuff. As much as I would like to I just can't. If we lived within walking distance of the store I would in a heartbeat. But packing up two little ones that do not want to go to the store and then trekking around the place is not fun. So I really try and limit it to twice a week and usually try to go after they go to bed or first thing on Saturday mornings (I find this actually has the best selection if I am lucky enough to get to go then).

Okay, that was my rant. I feel better. Just annoying that we live in the middle of farm country and I can't even get decent produce at the store!

Siblings

So the other day I was holding Cameron on my lap and we were talking. I asked him (and please don't ask me why I asked this question because I have no earthly idea as to why I did) if he would like a baby brother or sister. It all started out with a book we had just finished reading shortly before and we were playing and he said something about a baby. He emphatically stated "no." Noah has already expressed his dislike of my holding another baby when we went to visit his new baby cousin back in July. I guess it would be safe to say at this point they do not want a sibling.

So I have just given up on the removing of clothing during "nap" time. As long as they keep their diaper on I am fine with them taking it all off. They are pretty funny actually. I sit by the monitor and listen to them because they talk about it as they are removing items. They laugh and giggle and it makes me giggle too just knowing they are being so silly. Now I just have to teach them how to put all the clothes back on. But today I walked in to this...

Pretty funny if you ask me. I hesitated to post the pictures because they both look so skinny! You would never believe me if I told you how much food they actually eat each day. I am amazed. I am also nervous for what the future holds when these two are 16 and eating me out of house and home!

My eight hours...

So in my lovely eight hours each week that the boys are in "school" I am supposed to get the house cleaned (top to bottom mind you including dusting, vacuuming, laundry, ceiling fans, blinds, etc), clean out the garage and the house (closets and all), walk the dog, water the yard, go to the grocery store, workout, doctor's appointments and any other errands there may be to do. Hmm, you add it up...ya think I can get all that done in eight hours? I can't get it all done in the entire week much less in eight hours (which in reality is about seven and a half once you factor in drive time and stuff).

It really is becoming annoying to me that whenever something comes up it automatically falls into the "you can do it while the boys are at school" category. Grr. Okay, that was my rant. I'm done. I did however manage to take care of several things today while they were at school that have been on my "to do" list for some time now. Woo-hoo!

First day of school

This was the boys their first day this year.

This was the boys last year for their very first day of "school" last year (and ever). Wow what a difference a year makes!

They carry their own lunch bags and backpacks in now and put their lunches in little cubbies. I still hang their backpacks for them since it is too tall but man how different things are between this year and last. They are growing up way too fast! They are both getting so very tall and talkative. Cameron carried on an entire conversation with me yesterday. I had to jot it all down it was just too cute. They are amazing little beings to me and I feel so very blessed each and every day.

Progress...

Slowly making progress on their 2008 book. Was hoping to be further along by now but I'll take what I can get at the moment. Napping woes are still in our lives and so I have no free time several days of the week now. Sigh. And one of my children (who will remain nameless other than saying his name starts with a C) is one grouchy child who is VERY demanding when he doesn't nap. So nothing is getting done around my house these days. I should be used to this but just not. Ugh!

Oh, I forgot, today I hear Cameron saying he needs help, he is stuck. I run upstairs and into their room (remind you both are supposed to be sleeping) and Noah is totally undressed except for his socks and Cameron has his shirt that he can't get off and is stuck with it on his head (he can't unbutton the button so it got stuck but he had socks and all off). Oh lovely. And I was praying last weeks episode was just an isolated incident. Sigh. Oh well, the adventures in motherhood!

Is that the paparazzi?

I came across this word today and thought it was funny...Mom-a-raz-zi. Kind of like a paparazzi but a mom who runs around stalking their kids taking pictures. Hmm...that would be me. Hopefully some day they will thank me for it. This has become Cameron's face whenever he sees me coming with the camera.

So today I decided Cameron was going to learn how to have quiet time if it killed me. He has decided if he doesn't want to be in his bed he will start screaming. I call it scream talking, not really screaming but not really talking, kind of a mix of the two. The last few days of it I have gone in and attempted to get him to be quiet. Today I decided to take a lesson from the cry it out method and let him scream it out. Praying it works! He did it for what felt like FOREVER, which in reality was probably more like five minutes. He stopped and when I finally went in a few minutes ago he was snoozing away.

I know he still needs a nap. He is GROUCHY when he doesn't take one. So we'll see what happens over the next few weeks. Still praying this is all a phase because they really do need that nap to get them through the day. I would much rather move their bed time later if I have to than deal with the little crazy boys I have had the last two weeks from lack of sleep.

So now I am downloading the 169 pictures I took the last two days and doing laundry. Fun, fun. But thankful I am able to do that and praying for happy little boys when they wake. :)

So I am attempting to at least make the boys stay in their cribs for some quiet time and today Cameron was chattering away. I started listening to his conversation with himself and he started talking about taking his diaper off and then talking about how much he has grown. Then I hear him say how much his wee-wee has grown. Um, Houston we have a problem is the thought that came to mind.

Neither of the boys have ever taken their own diapers off just to take them off...yet. When he first started talking about it I thought he was just chattering, I hadn't heard anything. Then when those words came out of his mouth I knew something was up. Of course, I went in his room to find him in only his shirt. Oh my. So many changes in such a short time.

I don't think I have had a chance to mention Noah jumped out of his crib last night. M and I both had our backs turned (him putting in the night light and me closing the blinds) and all of the sudden we heard the thud I have been anxiously awaiting. I look back and Noah is laying on the floor and starts to cry. I think it scared him more than anything else and it scared the crap out of me as well. So he hasn't really stood up in his crib since, kind of hoping we don't have a repeat performance of either incidents any time in the near future. And I thought the no napping thing was enough to deal with! Guess we will be thinking about that toddler bed a little sooner than we anticipated. Thank goodness I had ordered the rails for their beds a few months ago so we already have them waiting!

I feel so very blessed to have these two little guys in my life! I am such a lucky Mommy!

I have truly come to realize that motherhood is not for the faint of heart. It has been over a week now since the boys have taken a nap and I am so at a loss of what to do all day long. Before we played hard in the morning and in the afternoon because they got all rested up at nap time. Now I am searching for the balance yet again. If we play too hard they are exhausted and cranky. If we don't play hard enough they start fighting with one another. Hmm, must learn to be a preschool teacher or something because those gals got it going on. They keep those little ones just busy enough with quiet times sprinkled throughout. Just can't seem to get anything accomplished around the house because I spend every minute it seems entertaining the kiddos. I know, I know, it will get better and I will figure it out. Just in time for them to change on me again I am sure. :)

So, this past week has been interesting. We have done a lot of stuff we probably wouldn't have done otherwise if they had been napping. But I know I can't do this every day of every week. So now we have to find a new routine and fast. Our old bed time is slowly creeping earlier and earlier. They are falling asleep in the car if we drive anywhere in the late afternoon so I know they are exhausted. Just refusing to nap in their beds. So what else can I do? They have quiet time in their beds for at least an hour and that's about it. I do wonder if this is a phase or if it is a permanent thing. I guess I am dreaming that it may be a phase. Ha! Oh how I am missing those naps already!

My sweet little one brought me flowers tonight. Hubby and Cameron came home with a beautiful bouquet of flowers this evening after a particularly hard dinner out with Noah. We (Noah and I ) came home while Cameron and M went to look at plants like I had promised Cameron we would do after dinner. It was a wonderful surprise and much needed cheering up for me. In kind of a fun the last few days. I am sure it has a lot to do with the feelings from trying to readjust the boys' schedules. Sigh.

Getting it all set back up

So, getting all my actions and things set back up on the new computer. I am AMAZED at how fast they run! It would literally take minutes for my old computer to run most of them and then half the time they wouldn't even work correctly. It took seconds, did you get that...seconds, for this one to run. Yippee! Wish I would have attempted this a little sooner. But it was fun. Know I will be playing with some photos the next few weeks for sure now.

Oh, also been working on getting all my duplicates gone from when my external hard drive crashed about a year and a half ago. I think once I finish that I will be able to finally do the boys' baby books! Yippee! Feeling like I have gotten so much done these last two weeks but really have nothing to show for it except for my own knowledge of the fact it got done. Sigh. But I feel better about it if that makes a difference. ;)

Wow, can't believe we are coming to the end of summer already. In one more week the boys will be back in "school" and fall will be just around the corner. So strange to live in a place we get four seasons. Just wonderful!

We had a good summer. This is Cameron playing with a ladybug while our friends were here visiting from Texas. A good time was had by all and of course they still talk about their friends from Texas. We even went to see some new friends here last week and she is now known as "different Cathy, not same as Rilee's mom" because she shares the same name as our friend from Texas. Very cute.

Still working on getting things moved around. Made a lot of progress in the beginning of last week and then pooped out. Hoping I will get it all done this week with regards to putting things away. It was nice to sit and pay bills in a spot over the weekend that I didn't have to pick it all up and move it around either when I started or when I was finished. Ah, good feeling. The little things that make a difference.

What happened to the train?

I guess the train lost it's steam. I haven't been able to touch my new toy, um, new computer for about a week and a half now. Sniff, sniff. I am not even keeping up with downloading my pictures very well these days. Ugh! But before too long I will have a little space of my own that doesn't have to travel and I will hopefully be better at doing these things again. Oh the thought of now having to pick everything up and find a new spot to pay the bills or download pictures thrills me. Oh the little things in life. Ha! But I am determined to do two things this week. First, scrap at least another double page layout for our 2008 book. Second, to get all my stuff moved up from the basement (if my back cooperates). If I do those two things I will be a happy camper. :)

Must work on updating the Project 365 blog! That's on my list for tomorrow. That and converting pictures to jpeg. :) Still haven't added my ACDSee to the new computer. Must take care of that too soon!

What a beautiful day...(as sung in Dora's voice)

I got my Nikon back today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited I can hardly stand it. Woo-hoo! Doing a happy dance. Two months without it and I was about to go crazy. Hopefully that won't be happening anytime again soon. I really, really missed it. And was sad I didn't have it this last weekend when our friends visited. But hey, I still need to download the photos from the entire last week so what am I saying????

We went to the zoo this morning. Had a great time. The boys were just too cute. I am amazed by them every day. Cameron is just talking up a storm. I know this child will have no trouble with the English language. He has started saying things I have no idea where he heard it from. Today he was so funny and sang himself to sleep for his nap singing the ABC song. The first time through he sang it perfectly. Then the 2nd and 3rd time it was all over the map. And the 4th time I had to laugh because he decided the numbers needed to be included as well. Just too, too cute.

My own room!

I'm finally going to get somewhere to put all my junk, um, stuff again. Woo-hoo! Can't wait. M decided to move his office to the basement so that means my stuff gets a room again. Can't wait. So very excited. Started the process today but I can tell you this is going to take a while. I have way too much "stuff" and between that and all the bills I need to go through from the last 2 years it will be a huge project. But determined to have a beautiful space all to myself in the next month or so. I need it. Right now I just feel like a nomad with the bill paying and scrapping. I think I will get busy more often with a space so close to the boy's room. I won't have to climb 2 levels to get to them at night so will be more willing to go "play" after they go to bed for a while. Woo-hoo!

Chugga, chugga choo-choo!

Here is March! Woo-hoo! Just chugging along. So nice to feel like I am getting things done again with the scrapping.

Rambling once again...

Two more pages I managed to get done last week. Oh the joy of scrapping again! It has also been a lot of fun to go back and read my journals from the last year. Working on getting 2008 all finished up within the next month and hopefully get a head start on 2009! My goal is to keep up with each month or two as they go by. Oh what a lovely thing that would be to do. Loving these templates by Katie Pertiet. They make short work of this to say the least!

So I found out yesterday that my test results came back positive for rheumatoid antibodies. It explains a lot but it kind of has me a little anxious about what lies ahead. I knew I was in a lot of pain this last year especially, but didn't think it was anything like this. Just praying for some answers to so many questions I have at the moment.

Roller coasters

That is what I feel like I am on. A huge roller coaster at times. This last week was tough. No other way to put it. The boys were way out of sorts and just cranky. So of course I was cranky. The beginning of the week was horrible. Just plain horrible. It did get better. The weekend was a little tough but we survived. I am still scratching my head trying to figure out what in the world is going on with them. Noah won't sleep for anything again. There is always something going on when he does this. And it always seems to take me a while to figure it out. Haven't so far. Can't see any new teeth. He is eating well and acting fine other than antagonizing his brother half the day.

I am beginning to wonder if I need to really find a way to spend some serious one on one time with them each week. The tough part about that is I can't seem to leave one and not the other or maybe I should say to take one and not the other. The one left behind usually throws a fit. Cameron is also going through some serious separation anxiety issues at the moment. So what's a mom to do?

We went to the fair this morning. Just a smaller local one. They had a ball but of course Noah was really ready to go just a little ways into it while Cameron was NOT wanting to leave and started to throw a fit. It is just becoming increasingly difficult to find the balance between the two. I know we will get there but I want what is best for both of my children and myself and at the moment it has been very difficult to find a happy medium for everyone involved. Daddy included.

So back to the fair. The boys got to pet baby chicks, a goat, pigs, cows, sheep, and llamas. It was very interesting for me too seeing as I am a "city girl" and haven't really ever been around animals myself. I think the boys are much more brave than I am when it comes to touching the animals. It didn't help they had signs all over the place saying the animals may bite. That kind of freaked me out. And of course Cameron has no fear so just walks right in and jams his hand in their faces. To be 2.5 years old again! Noah loved it and we could tell by his squeals (literally) of delight. He was very gentle with all the animals. We have actually if often wondered aloud if he would grow up to be a vet. I guess only time will tell.

Can you believe it?

Look what I finished up tonight...


And can I just say Margaret was so right on the learning the new computer! I didn't think it would be that much different but Vista is a whole new animal for me. It took me 30 minutes just to find where they hide the fonts folder. Ha! Guess I know what I will be doing the rest of the week when I have a few minutes here and there. But I do have to say how fast this thing is compared to my laptop. OH.MY.GOSH! I love, love, love it. The only down side I can find at the moment is there is no wireless card in the thing so no internet. Hmm...have to fix that at some point but for now I will enjoy my digi scrapping with no distractions. Maybe no internet is a good thing...

I can no longer gather my thoughts when I sit down in the evening to post and catch up on emails. I just am brain dead by that point. I need to get better about making notes again. I used to jot down what I needed to do online and need to start that again. Now when I sit to get on the computer I have become so used to having to wait FOREVER for my computer to start, then the stupid internet to come up and then maybe I will get lucky if it only takes me 30 minutes to an hour to check a few emails, make a post and do a thing or two online. It is SOOOOOOO FREAKING SLOW. Hopefully I have remedied that today.

I took my computer back to where I had gone about a month ago and they did some more stuff to it. I had mentioned yesterday while at their store I wasn't very happy with the service they had performed about a month prior and he told me they had some problems then and asked if I would be willing to bring it back in. I jumped on that one. So today off I went. He did some stuff to it and even figured out how to adjust the brightness on my screen when it decides it has a mind of it's own. OMG, I can't tell you how many people have tried to figure that one out! I bowed to his greatness and in return bought another computer.

Yep, I am the proud owner of a shiney new desktop. I won't get it until tomorrow because they are doing the optimization and installing Office and stuff for me. Worth it for me not to have to deal with that. So now I can start digi scrapping again. Woo-hoo! I had become so disgusted with how slow my computer was that I just quit. I couldn't stand sitting and waiting for 5 minutes for the software to load, then another 3-4 minutes for my page to load. And when it came time to save the thing, ugh! I won't even go there. I literally would go and do other stuff and come back later. It was ridiculous. My laptop doesn't have the power (and can't be upgraded to have it) to run all the digi stuff sufficiently. So it was about freaking time I got something that did. I splurged on something for myself for a change. I can't believe it. And you know what? It felt good. I haven't done that in AGES. Probably since my Nikon purchase over a year and a half ago. So now to try and restrain myself from staying up all night each day this week and playing with the new toy. Ha!

Wow. Been way too long since I have blogged. Been trying to play catch up on my 365 blog since we were out of town for a while. I wrote my posts each day in a notebook and had to transfer them over. Now to pick out all the pictures to go with it and post them all. At times it seems like so much work but it is SO worth it when I sit and read the posts from each day. Really a fun idea and I do hope to continue this next year as well.

We went to an Arts Festival today. The boys had a ball and didn't want to come home. They loved all the stuff to look at and the music. Noah even graced us with some dancing to "Smooth Operator." That was pretty funny and if I recall I even caught it on video. Too cute to pass up.

Trying to decide on a new computer. As much as I want to make my laptop limp along it is just SO slow. Not sure what is up with it and I had it looked at about a month ago. They said all was well and ran some stuff on it that was supposed to make it run faster. Not really. I am considering a new desktop instead. Not sure what to do. Just don't want to shell out the money at the moment for one. If they weren't so freaking expensive I would have bought a new one by now! Well, at least the one I really want is expensive. Then you have to get new software because the stuff I have won't work on Vista. And of course all the stuff about Vista people talk about. Hmm...too many choices! Wouldn't it just be easier for someone to tell me what to buy?????? Wishful thinking on my part I guess. Ha!

What a wonderful day!

We had so much fun today! Met an old friend of mine at The Children's Museum this morning and the boys did so fantastic. I am so very proud of them! They even napped when we got home. There is a God in Heaven.

We went to Applebee's for dinner and got a huge surprise to end our nice day. They comped our meal. When M got his food it wasn't what he had ordered so we thought he was saying they were going to comp his dinner but he said no, we are always there and such loyal customers that dinner was on them tonight. Wow. What a nice surprise we had. We actually go nearly every week and drive to the neighboring town to go to the one there instead of the one where we live. The food just seems better, there is no smoking and the staff is much more friendly. So we just make the short drive over and are happy. They are always very accommodating for us and the boys so why change? Just made a very nice ending to a very nice day.


This was Noah's hair when he woke up this morning. I had to laugh and of course take a picture. Poor kid is doomed with bead head. He got his mom's stick straight hair that will conform very quickly to whatever position you put it in. Meaning if you bend it wacky for a while it will stay that way. So sorry Noah!

Life is good...

Nice day. Got lots done so it is good. I no longer feel like a blob who can't get anything done. And we tried something new today! They have this drop in child care and we attempted it this morning. The boys LOVED it. They didn't want to leave. There were no tears shed when dropping them off, only when it was time to go. And I mean tears. Crazy. Noah REALLY didn't want to leave. And both of them talked about pushing the strollers around. They had some of those cute little baby doll strollers. I think we may be getting a doll house and strollers in the future. Every time we go somewhere they have a doll house both of the boys are fascinated with them. They love to play house and make the people go from room to room doing things. Cameron had them laying down to take a sleepy nap, cooking dinner, taking a bath, you name it. Very cute. Just not sure how I can fit one more thing in this house at the moment. But working on that.

Backed up the EHD! Yippee! I don't feel totally secure but feel much better having everything on 2 different external hard drives. Next step is to download them all to a photo site and get some of these puppies printed out. It's been several months since I have really printed picture. Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be jpegs! I see a layout in my future with that title...

Scurvy pirates and a rant

So what do you do with a scurvy pirate? Make him walk the plank! Cameron is going around singing this little tune from Backyardigans. Pretty darn cute is all I can say about that one and I wish I had the video handy while he was doing it but no such luck.

They are refusing to nap today. I guess this is coming back again now. Second time in just a few days with no nap. Grrr. And I thought we were okay with the napping thing as they have been doing so well this last month or so. Oh well, another curve ball right at me.

The rant. Well, how would you like to take a 10 hour car ride with two 2.5 year olds, twice mind you so total of 20 hours, in just a five day time period with no DVD entertainment? Well, hubby informed me he rented the van but wasn't sure if they were going to be able to get one with a DVD player. My reaction...we need to know one way or the other now so we can either go and buy a DVD player or find a company that has a van with one. He wasn't happy about this decision. So, let's see...would you like to be the one to entertain them for this trip with singing and such...for more than 10 hours? It's a 10 hour trip mind you. With two 2.5 year olds I am gussing more like 12-13 hours. And guess who does the majority of sining in this house besides the kiddos??????? You do the math.

Maybe I am a little freakishly organized and routine when it comes to my kids but you know what, I have to be. I don't have the luxury of picking up a kid and going. They out number me and until they learn how to be a wee bit more self-sufficient then what I feel is right for them goes. I spend 24/7 with them and although I am not saying that everything I do is right, what I do with and for them works. So my way it is. To keep my sanity. I am oh so close to losing that, if I didn't already.

Good news...I was able to access the EHD today! Needless to say as soon as I finish this post I will be setting it up to backup on another EHD so I at least have 2 with the same thing until I can get everything burned to CDs and downloaded to a photo site. There is that freakishly organzied and anal person again, rearing her ugly head. Ha!!!!!!!

And here were my little cutie patooties at the parade on Saturday. Of course Puppy must accompany us as well. :)

Nothing much really

Everything in my house that is electrical is breaking. Ugh! I replaced the washer and dryer last weekend. My computer is on it's last leg and I can't get my EHD to work tonight. I am praying it has not gone out and maybe just need to reboot the computer or it possibly be the cable is bad for the plug. I really pray it isn't broken because I haven't backed that thing up in a few months now. I know, I know, bad me. The weeks have just been flying by and I realize it was the beginning of May since I last backed it up. I pray I didn't lose all those pictures! Oh, and I lost my good old HP printer that I have loved and loved for about 8 years now. It has been a workhorse! Sad that it just quit working. Hoping to chalk all this up to a bad day and move on. Although my niece sent me this today and I smiled...so true, so true.

Murphy's Law of Children

1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.

4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

5. Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.

6. If the shoe fits..it's expensive.

7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

9. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

10. The more challenging the child, the more rewarding it is to be a parent..sometimes.

So how much food can a 2.5 year old eat????? Cameron ate 4 bowls of this sharp cheddar lasagna stuff I make the other night and Noah ate over 3 P&B sandwiches (no crusts of course) for lunch. On top of that they both had fruit. Where in the world do they put it all and what am I going to do when they are a teenager and really eating a lot?????? Eek. I think it's rather funny to be honest. I just can't believe at 2.5 they can eat more than I can. Kind of boggles my mind.

Noah loves to read. He has even taken to reading his daddy's magazines as you can see above. He would not release this one the other day and so I just scooped him and the magazine up and put them both in the car. We had somewhere to be and I am just not going to fight over a magazine. He doesn't destroy them (anymore) so I figured what can it hurt. He enjoys looking at the cars and I know daddy will love it some day too.

Determined to get back into scrapping so off to play around now. Been way too long and need a creative fix. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Twins everywhere

Before I had twins I had never had an egg with 2 yolks in it. Now I get them all the time. Seriously, I even had one carton that had 2 eggs that had 2 yolks in them. It kind of makes me sad because I think of the little twin chicks they would have been. But that doesn't last long. Ha!

I just seem to be finding "twins" everywhere these days. Kind of makes me a little scared, like it better not be a sign that I am going to have more. Eek! So today I happened to notice a sunflower we have and it was a double sunflower. Very cool in retrospect.

And to help give some kind of reference there is a photo of one of the single ones as well.

The twin thing has been on my mind a lot lately. So don't get me wrong when I say what I am about to. I love having twins. But (Yep, you knew there had to be a but with that lead in), some times I wonder what it would be like to have had my children one at a time. I wonder if I am cheating them in a way. Of time with both me and M. Of their own personal space. Of all kinds of things I could sit and list but won't.

I seem to have periods of time when I ponder this more so than other times and this happens to be one of those. Still struggling with if I should put them in their own rooms or not. I always said I would wait until they were old enough to decide on their own and let them make the choice. But they sleep so differently and have been fighting lately I am wondering if some time to themselves may be what they need. They are almost ALWAYS together. They hardly ever have time alone. Although I have tried letting one go with me and the other with M at some point over the weekend this just doesn't happen often. We tend to go do things as a family on the weekend. Sigh. Just once again pondering what is best for my children. I think I will do this until the day I die. Crazy things we do as parents, huh?

I am...

that mom.

• The one that lets her kids have dessert even though they didn't eat much dinner.
  
• The one that allows them to play "monster" even though we are eating breakfast in a restaurant and hubby thinks it is bothering everyone.
  
• The one who lets them nap for nearly 4 hours because they are just exhausted and know there is no way they are going to sleep at their usual time that night and am okay with that.
  
• The one that even though they say they don't want to go somewhere or do something have learned at 2.5 years old they say they don't want to but then when we go and they are having a ball they don't want to leave so I still make them go places they say they don't want to.
  
• The one that goes into their room every night just before I go to bed myself to make sure they have their blanket and are comfortable...and sometimes just to sneak a peak.
  
• The one that takes way too many pictures of their kids and can't delete a single one even though I know that jpeg will never make it to print or anything else but still enjoys looking at them.
• The one that can't tell you how many times a day I pray for patience but wouldn't trade my "job" for anything in the world.

And a whole host of other things. I so much love being a mom but at times it can be so trying. I just hope my boys grow up to be loving and appreciative and not crazy little men! ;)

Happy Father's Day!

Wow. What an amazing service this morning at church. I have so enjoyed this new one we have been going to and each week just seems to get better and better. The boys really enjoy the nursery, where they actually have church as well and not just play time. It is just amazing to me.

This morning they did the most amazing thing during the offertory. Instead of the usual song they had a group of people that came up one by one with signs. On one side it had what their life was like or how they have felt in the past. On the other, the way they feel or how their life is like now. It was a very powerful thing and I was just in awe. I haven't felt this "spoken" to in years. No, I am not going to be a holy roller on here now but I just had to share. It is just a goof fit for me. My husband seems to enjoy it as well and I know the boys do. I am truly looking forward to what the future brings.

I think I had mentioned on here previously that I have really struggled with organized religion for some time now. This morning as we were pulling in the parking lot I just prayed for my mind and heart to be open. And this mornings service was our youth singing and the youth pastor talking. If I ever felt someone was speaking to me it was this morning. Not sure what I am supposed to be doing but know I am on the right track again finally. :)

I hope my hubby is having a great Father's Day and all those fathers out there are as well. Today always makes me really miss my own father. I was lucky enough to spend his last Father's Day with him, he passed away about a week later. June always kind of makes me sad. But I did manage to make a cute poem with the boy's footprints on it for M. I framed them and I think he will be hanging them in his office, although I may see if he wants to put them in the bedroom instead. I'll snap some pictures and share later in the week, he took the camera with him on a motorcycle ride.

And speaking of cameras...still have not sent my SLR in to be repaired. Better get that done this week! I have been without it for a month now and am starting to go into withdraw. It will take 2-3 weeks to get it back so better get busy! I did call and they tried to help me reset it over the phone but it wouldn't work. I seriously think the motor is shot...which scares me as to how much that is going to be to repair. Really bums me out as I have only had the thing for a year and a half. Okay, not going to get worked up until I know the damage. Sigh. Must. Send. In. Tomorrow!

Some days...frustrated version

Okay, so I am trying to pull in to a Chick-fil-a this morning and the idiot coming out decides he is going to be the enforcer or something and almost hits me. Apparently the sign that states it is an entrance only was gone and I didn't know this but he decided to be a jacka$% and enforce the fact that it is an entrance. Now don't get me wrong. I get frustrated at people that do this so I try not to myself. But I had no clue it was an in only since I think I have been there twice since we have moved here (in a different town than I live in).

So he sits there and is screaming at me in his car and refuses to move until I back up and go the other way. At this point I am saying a few words I should not be saying in front of my kids. So I back up, and start off to the other entrance. Yeah, long enough for him to pull out. Throw my car in reverse and go in the entrance just to piss him off because I know he can still see me. He just hit the wrong nerve with me first thing this morning. And later on I ask myself why I let this frustrate me so? I told the manager of the store their sign is missing and about the idiot that nearly hit me over it. So why can't I let it go now????

Well, maybe because we were on the way to the dermatolist and although the visit was speedy and all I was frustarted there as well. They ask me all these questions about Noah (took him because we can't find a suncreen that doesn't make him have a rash). She hands me a sample of an over the counter sunscreen and then tells me I just need to try them all until I find one. WTF? I just drove 40 minutes and almost got hit by some crazy person for something you could have just told me over the phone?????????? She tries to give me a second sample and I told her we had already tried it and every other children's sunscreen on the market...so now do I just move on to the adult ones? Yes, she replies. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, so now I am kind of pissy although not in a bad mood if that makes any sense at all. So off to the house we head. Maybe things will get better after lunch/nap time. Sigh...can I get in bed and wake up on the other side now??????