Another week flown by...

Trying to figure out the new blogger set up.  I think I will like it but these kinds of things are making me feel OLD.  Since having the boys I am so out of touch with technology.  It moves way too fast to be out for nearly five years.  I feel ancient in techology years!  But this will be a fun challenge. And the first thing I need to do is create a new header.  I haven't done any kind of digital scrapping or anything digtal wise in over a year.  Must remedy that one soon.  Did some sprucing up around here tonight so need to finish it up!

Spent the evening working on some things to do with the boys tomorrow since they are out of school and I am sick.  Whatever this is I have is really kicking my rear.  But I found some fun printable things to work with them tomorrow so at least they will have these to do along with going outside.  Thank goodness the weather has finally cooled a little here!

Swim fishy, swim!

At the end of the school year last year Noah had his class party.  I found this adorable little idea in Family Fun magazine and couldn't resist.  I think they turned out adorable and hope I can do them again for something because they were super easy to make!  I used regular M&M's because it was little ones and I didn't want to do anything with peanuts just in case.  The boys had a ball helping me and were super excited to eat them too!

Are those jingle bells?

Nope, not just yet.  But this last week I have started thinking it is time to start getting Christmas in line.  Have already figured out what we are doing for the boys' cousin and started working on things for the boys.  Anyone have any suggestions?  This is what I have come up with so far I am looking at for them.

Lots of building type stuff as they are really into creating and building these days.  I am sure there will be some super hero and Cars things mixed in there as well.  For now trying to come up with ideas and start ordering when I find a good deal.  Hate waiting until the last minute and then trying to figure out what in the world to do!  Loving being able to use my Amazon Wish List to keep track of all of the items I want to get eventually too!

And I would seriously LOVE to get one of these for us to use both inside and out.  Would love to be able to pop the top on and just leave whatever we have been using in it for the next day.

This has been one tough week.  Although come to think of it not nearly as bad as a few weeks ago so in a strange sort of  way I am very thankful.  The boys are just so out of sorts and CRANKY these days.  Which means I am out of sorts and cranky these days.  I just feel at my witts end half the time and so ready for the routine of school to begin. But that thought also scares me when I think of how it is going to turn our lives upside down for a while. 

My big fear right now is that Cameron is going to have the same reaction he did a year ago when we moved here and started a new school.  We met his new teachers the other day and I have to admit I have this sinking feeling.  Praying I am so wrong about this but I wasn't impressed.  And then after while we were eating lunch he said he didn't like his new class.  My heart sank.  Thankfully I noticed one of his buddies from his old class was listed on the calendar so told him his friend was going to be in the class as well.  So far that is all he has talked about.  No other excitement and I can see from his face and actions he is really unsure.  Oh man I pray this isn't a repeat of what happened last year!

Let's try this again, K?

Okay, so I won't go on and on about how I have only posted 13 posts for the entire year.  Nope, won't do it.  But I do have to say I am shocked!  So let's see what I can do about that now.

So, so many things I want to say.  I think about posts all the time and the words flow in my head.  When I sit down to get online they all vanish.  So for now I am going to just go with what is on my mind today...

School.  Cameron starts school next week and Noah starts at the end of that week.  I will admit the last few weeks have been tough on the boys...and me!  They get out of their routine and by the time school is about to start they are really out of whack.  We are ALL ready for school to start and be back once again in the crazy routine of school.  This year Cameron will be going in the morning and Noah in the afternoon so I will have some good one-on-one time with each several days a week.

One of the things I am determined to do with each of them is kind of do a homeschool kind of thing.  They require a lot of kindergardeners these days and the preschools they are going to I don't know will teach everything they need to know.  Plus I think this will be a good way of getting them used to kind of "going to school" all day. 

I have been searching and searching and think I have finally come up with a good starting point for us.  Over at Confessions of a Honeschooler she has this amazing curriculum she has put together called K4 Curriculum.  My original plan was to kick it off with the start of their classes next week but after printing things out and reviewing several things I am going to start tomorrow with a few activities I know the boys will love.  So excited!

The other thing I am starting to focus on again now that a new school year is upon us is the house.  This last year has been tough since the move.  Just can't figure out where to put anything and so it has all kind of just been moved from place to place to place.  So that has been exhausting to say the least.  So little by little I am working on one thing at a time instead of letting it all overwhelm me.  And of course I gave myself some incentive to get things done by hosting things here at my house for some moms I know.  Always gets me motivated!  So I figure if I keep it up I may have this place ready by the time we decide to move again!

Oh, I also dusted off the good old sewing machine and made a weighted blanket recently.  So will have to post soon about that.  Need to take some pictures of it and find the original site I found the instructions.  Made it super easy and my little guy seems to be very happy with it.

Rocking and rolling

Wow...what a fun filled weekend!  We had a picnic for a group I am in on Saturday and that was a fun time.  Kept the boys busy and us out enjoying the sunshine and awesome weather.  Then yesterday we took the boys to see Sesame Street Live!  They really enjoyed it.  I had to crack up at some of the comments the boys made.  At one point Noah turned to me and said very excited, "Elmo is real!"  He was just in awe which cracked me up.  The funny part to me is my kids haven't really been big Elmo fans or anything like that.  But that and Oscar the Grouch were the two they were most excited about seeing.

So I finally heard back from the school this afternoon.  They are allowing me to leave Noah at the school he is currently attending for next school year.  I am SO thankful!  They did put the stipluation that I have to provide transportation because it is not the school that is closest to us but I already take him and pick him up as it is.  No biggie to me!

This is Noah's last week of school for the year.  So we are starting to try and make the shift to summer routines, etc.  Oh my...summer is not fun for me.  The boys get so out of whack when their routine is changed and this has been a hard one for them the last 2 years (since they started any kind of "school").  I just keep praying this summer will be better but Cameron has been out the last 2 weeksand I have to say it hasn't been easy.  Hopefully he will level out just in time for me to deal with Noah going through it!

Tonight as I was putting the boys to bed, Noah was so very chatty.  Which is not the norm for him.  He kept telling me he wanted me to tell him a story using my mouth.  We had been talking about his day and so I didn't really catch what he was telling me.  When I sat up to read a book to him he told me, "No, tell me a story with your mouth!"  I finally figured out he wanted me to make up a story for him.  Well, I started off and he kept telling me no, and would start making up the story for me.  It was the cutest thing ever!  That kid has an imagination...just wish he would talk more!

Once again...

I once again am faced with decisions about school for the boys.  Well, Noah at least.  I feel like this last year has been nothing but decisions about schools.  And they are only 4!  And of course I have to decide by tomorrow because there is only one spot left in the program he is currently in.  And M is not able to discuss with me (or as usual says whatever I decide is fine...ugh!).  So here goes...weigh in if you are so inclined...all opinions welcomed!

Noah has been going to the developmental preschool in the school system here since we moved here last summer (well, he started in the Fall of course).  I have loved his teacher and the aide there.  When it came time in February to find a school for Cameron for next school year (oh such a LONG story), I asked when he would be attending next year and they told me he would come in the afternoons, which meant Cameron would go to school in the morning and Noah would go in the afternoon. 

What?  No.  Please no.  That means I would never have a child free couple of hours here or there.  NEVER.  And yes, I was selfish and moped for a long while on that one.  But then I started thinking about all the good and positive things.  I would get to spend a great deal of one on one time with each of the boys and that was the huge thing.  Not just an hour here or there, but half the day for four days a week!  I actually started getting excited about it.  I really enjoy having one of them at a time what little chance I get now. 

So I really started embracing this and figured out how I was going to get them to and from because Cameron's would be ending at 1:00 and Noah had to be at school at 1:00 and since it was the lunch hour I could not drop him off early.  So I worked it out with Cameron's school that I could pick him up 10 minutes early and they would have him all ready for me to make a mad dash for him and get Noah to school on time. 

Yes, I moped from time to time since all this came about that I was not going to have any time at all to run errands or clean house without a child in tow.  But I reminded myself God did this for a reason and then I would get excited again and think about how much fun it would be.  How different both of my little guys are and that I could spend time just letting them be themselves for a change instead of constantly having to compromise because the other brother couldn't or wouldn't do what he wanted. 

Well, earlier this week I pick Noah up from school and when I get home and unpack backpacks I am greated with a letter for his new placement for the 2011-2012 school year.  And he will be attending XYZ school in the AM.  What???????  It's not the school he is attending now and why is he going in the AM?  Why can't he stay where he is and just follow what we had already set out?  Oh, and that this new school is year round and he would start on Aug 8th.  Cameron won't start until Sept. 1 or later.  WHAT??????

So I have spent the last 2 days trying (in vain I might add) to figure out which is the best for him...and for me.  But mostly for him.  So I looked at the year round schedule and see it is pretty different than the traditional calendar.  For instance...

1. He would start almost 4-5 weeks (they usually start a week after the calendar for preschool) before Cameron and then be off the first 3 weeks of October while Cameron was in school. 
2. Then he would be off from right before Christmas until the last week of January (almost 5 weeks!) while Cameron was only off a week and a half for Christmas and New Years.
3. Then off again the last week of March and first 2.5 weeks of April while Cameron would be in school for 2.5 of those 3.5 weeks.
4. Then Cameron would get out int he middle of May while Noah went until the end of June, then they would both be out until the middle of July and then would start Kindergarten.

So just typing all that out makes my head spin.  And I thought digesting one going in the morning and the other in the afternoon was a lot!  Do I really want them on that drastic of a schedule difference?

Don't get me wrong, I really do want the boys in year round school.  I think they will do SO much better on it. But to have one on and one not is a little daunting to me at the moment.  Oh, and since I really think the boys are going to have a hard time adjusting to all day school I had planned on trying to get Noah in 2 days a week where Cameron is going and that way he would go 2 days a week to a regular preschool and then go to the other int he afternoons.  Kind of getting him ready.  They don't have any openings so I knew it wouldn't happen (if at all) until later in the school year and I thought that would be perfect for him.

So here are my options. 

1. Leave Noah in where he is going now and let him go in the afternoons.  They have 1 spot open (that is if it didn't get filled today or in the morning before I can call).
2. Let him go to the new school and just adjust yet once again.
3. And yes, there is a 3rd option which we are exploring which is a very slim one.  They have a newer program that is an all day but it is really hard to get in and they have to meet with our family and basically we have to be approved.  From what I can gather it is tough to get in so I am not really relying on that as an option at the moment.

I have gone back and forth in my head all afternoon.  Selfish me says yippee...they would both be in morning classes a few hours 4 days a week...when they are on the same schedule.  And it would be like now where it feels like as soon as I drop him off it's time to pick him back up again.  Then we have to wait for an hour before we go get Cameron and since it is too far from where we live for me to drive home and then back we  (Noah and I) end up going out to lunch or just sitting in the car waiting.  No fun!  So see, the only "yippee" moment is that they would both be on the same schedule about 27 weeks.  Then one on and one off the rest...so about half and half.

If one goes in the morning and the other in the afternoon I have a longer time between having to pick up Cameron and there is no time spent waiting in the car or driving around.  I would drop Cameron off at 9:00, pick him up at 1:00 and drop Noah off at 1:00 and then pick Noah up at 3:30 or something like that.  I could possibly even have Noah ride the bus home so I wouldn't be making 3 trips to the next town over. 

New school...Drop both off at 9:00, pick Noah up at noon and then Cameron at 1:00...when they are on the same schedule.  When on different schedule I would just drop one off at whichever time their school is...which is what I do now because Noah goes M-Th and Cameron goes M-W-F. 

I have been trying to embrace the new school and find the positives about it.  Not having much luck.  And so today I talk to the girl and find out at the new school there will be 6 kids at his developmental level and 6 at a lower developmental level.  At his current school it is 12 kids at about the same developmental level.  While I am all for mixing and having the 2 different levels, in all honesty I want my child to be in the lower developmental level because I know he is going to learn things from the higher developed children.  That may sound crazy to some but I have been having a hard time embracing this fact.  And in Indiana they had half typical developing children and half children with IEP's.  So I would rather see something like that than what was described to me today.  Sigh.  Which is what the 3rd option would be if we can get in!

Okay, I can ramble all night.  I still don't know what to do.  I almost feel selfish if I keep him where he is.  Is that wrong of me?  I just don't want to make the wrong decision!

Another one down...

Well, May has come and gone.  We took the boys to the beach for a few days last week.  They had a ball.  I think it may have been a little more fun for us had we just relaxed from the first night when it came to bed time.  But over all it was a fun trip.  The boys got to play in the sand and go to the pool every day so they were thrilled.  I do wish I had taken a few more photos but oh well, they are at the age they really aren't thrilled about me taking photos, nor do they sit still for long.  But no one got sunburned and everyone was happy so it was a great trip in my book!

Slacker!

Oh my what a slacker I have become this whole last year on my blog!  I can't believe I didn't even make one single post in the month of March.  Shame, shame on me!!!!!

So you are probably wondering what in the world the boys look like since it has been FOREVER since I have posted any photos of them.  I guess that is one of the draw backs of having moved closer to family...not as urgent to update the good old blog, eh?

Both of them have decided they don't like having their picture taken this last year.  These are the kind of shots I get now when I say, "Let me take a picture."

But hey, these days I will take anything.  They are growing so freaking fast it is making my head spin.

So what have I been doing with all my time?  A lot of it has been spent outside these days.  Working like crazy on the yard and just being outside with the boys...who would live out there if I allowed them to.  That is the question I hear from the time they wake up until they go to bed each night, "Can we go outside?"  I am REALLY missing having a fence!  Although today I had something I HAD to get done so I let them play in the back yard while I sat right at the door finishing it.  I could hear and see them but wasn't actually out there...I felt so guilty! 

Still attempting to get this house unpacked but I am afraid it won't happen until over the summer.  Sigh.  It stresses me out but I am finally at a place where I just keep telling myself, one step at a time.  I have to keep repeating that over and over again.  It's tough being the only one doing it and trying to take care of a family and all.  So much crap stuff to go through and I just get overwhelmed.  I'll get there!

Both of the boys go to different schools and of course not even on the same schedule.  So I spend a lot of time in my car.  I don't know how people with kids that are enrolled in 50 activities do it.  I feel like we are always in the car going somewhere.  Crazy.  I don't think I would mind so much if it came together a little better but we have these chunks of time where it's too far to go home but too long to just go to the next place and wait.  Annoying.  I guess I better get used to it.  Need to take up knitting again.  :)

So that's been pretty much my last several months.  Happy to have warmer weather arriving so we can get outside.  Being couped up this last winter was NOT fun for any of us.  It was way worse here than in Indy...WAY worse.

May I please have a spoon?

This was the simple request for the gal at Chick-fil-A this morning.  Probably not such a strange one but what we were using the spoon for was pretty funny.  And she thought that was the funniest request she had ever gotten, I could hear the whole staff laughing as we rolled up the window. 

I was taking Noah to school and it had snowed a little over night.  He wanted to eat the snow.  And being the accommodating mother than I am, I got a spoon from the sweet gal at Chick-fil-A while getting our breakfast and stopped the car to get him some snow.  I know, I am a dork.  ;)

As a young mother, I asked the Lord to teach me of

Himself through my children.  He gave me eight children.

Apparently, I had a lot to learn.

~ Helen Widger Middlebrooke

I have no idea what I would do if I had eight children.  I think I would be sent to the funny farm.  Some days lately I don't know how I am going to survive the two I have.  How do you do it?  This week both of the boys have taken turns getting sick.  Noah was sick and so Cameron actually did very well the first major day of it.  BUT...now Noah is on steroids (this is always a BAD thing in our house) and Cameron is sick...the beginning of being sick.  Which means he is still very much himself (full of energy) but cranky.  Oh what lovely times around our house this week.  Grrr. 

So yes, I'll take some cheese with that whine.  Oh wait, there is enough whining around our house for an entire city full of families these days.  So maybe I will just stop my whining now and go back to taking care of my sick child.  Who of course doesn't want to snuggle so what am I doing?  Blogging.  At least for the next 15 minutes until it's time to go and get his brother.  Then the fun begins all over again.  Calgone....take me away!

Hi, ho, hi, ho, it's off to work we go...

Yep, I am officially pondering going back to work.  I guess I should say I am more than pondering.  I am starting to really look into it.  I really wanted to be a stay at home mom all my life.  That is all I really ever wanted.  Maybe I waited too long in life to have children.  I don't know.  But I have thought several times over the last 4 years that I may be a better mother if I actually went back to work.

I can list all kinds of reason why I should go back.  Then of course the main reason for not going back is my children.  It screams at me (yes, the children do too).  Should I really go back?  Should I try and stick it out another year and a half until they go to school?  The sad truth is I would rather be a stay at home mom while they are in school.  I want to be able to do things with their class and be home when they get home.  To capture all those special moments I might otherwise miss. 

So now I am stuck wondering just what I should do.  What if I get a job and then hate it?  Hate being away from my babies after all.  I just never thought I would be one of those moms who actually wants to go back to work.  Sigh.

Fontina Mac and Cheese

I have decided to get back to trying a new recipe at least once a month, once a week if I can swing it like I used to.  But I will give myself a little leeway for a while on that one.  So today I decided to make some homemade mac and cheese.  I don't ever recall making it from anything other than a box before to be honest.  I have been wanting to try this recipe for ages now (like a gazillion other recipes over at Annie's Eats).  And so today at lunch I finally did.  Can I just say yummy!  I can't believe I have waited this long to make homemade mac and cheese!  I think next time I am going to have to leave the topping off and see if the boys will eat it.  Something about the crunchy texture I think bothered them.  Not like I have kids with texture issues or anything.  No, not mine (big eye roll there)...

Bedtime seems to almost always be a struggle around our house.  I know we are not alone in this but man, some nights...  I am tired by the end of the day, the kids are tired but don't want to miss a thing, and hubby is tired and just wants a few minutes of peace and quiet.  I get it.  I understand it.  And yet it still doesn't always make me respond in the manner I would have liked.  So this is an awesome quote I may have to print and post right on the outside of each of their rooms to keep me from cracking some nights.  ;)

Parents, remember that now is your opportunity.

You may feel yourself harassed as you struggle

through the days with children,

but you are living the happiest

and the most golden years of your life.

As you tuck them into their beds at night,

please be kind to them.
Let them hear a kind voice amid all the

angry, vile voices that they will hear throughout life.

Let there be an anchor to which these little ones

can turn to when all else fails.

The Lord help you so to do...

Harold B. Lee

What happened to all the photos?

Life since moving has really kind of sucked.  Well, not totally but as far as my keeping up with photos of the boys it has.  I didn't realize just how much so until I was looking on my Facebook page at all the pictures from before.  Man there were some cute ones from when we lived in Indiana.  The year I did Project 365.  The year they were both in school for a few hours each week.  Boo.

I did realize this week that part of my reason for lack of picture taking and posting here is that only one of the boys is in school at the moment.  I didn't realize how much I got done in that few hours each week they were both gone.  And I have made a promise to myself to get more sleep (and have been doing fairly well this last year I must say).  So now I have to decide, sleep or capture those beautiful moments?  Hmm...I seriously have to give this some thought.  Right now I am leaning toward giving up the sleep because I am missing looking back on on those photos and remembering those precious moments!  Like these...

So I guess I just need to find a closer spot to keep the good old camera and put aside a few hours each week (I laugh even thinking that thought) for just working on photos.  I have an entire year worth just sitting there waiting for me to go through and do something with.  Sigh...

On a different note, I am hopefully on the road to figuring a few things out when it comes to my kiddos (and myself I might add).  But we'll see how the next few weeks go and I'll do a little more filling in on that topic.  For now I am just trying to take one day at a time and learn to slow down a little.

Library adventure

One of the things I remember very fondly from when I was a kid was one of my older sisters taking me to the library.  I spent hours upon hours there with her and her children.  It was one of my favorite things to do (yes, I am a geek).  I took the boys to the library this morning and it was such a great experience and filled me with those fond memories.  We had gone to the library when we lived in Indy often, but they were young and it wasn't really so much about getting books.  But since it had been a while and they are a little older, it was all about the books.  They were so excited and so good.  I am so proud of them!  We even walked there and I have a feeling this is going to be a walk we make often.  So I am thankful our house is so close to the local library!

After we returned from our adventure, we had some hot chocolate to warm up.  While we sat around the table talking about our adventure and drinking hot chocolate, I started realizing how much I miss my sister.  No, she hasn't passed away.  We just really don't speak much any longer.  No big dramatic story to tell or anything like that.  Just a slow moving apart because I was young and stupid.  What I wouldn't give to be able to turn back the hands of time and change that.  Even as we were walking back this afternoon and I was telling the boys about their aunt they have never met I was just sad.  They of course want to meet her.  Maybe I will be lucky and when we go back to visit later this year I will be able to do just that, allow them to meet their awesome aunt.

One of the parts I regret the most is not seeing all of her girls grow up.  Her oldest is actually only 5 years younger than me so her I knew her very well.  Shortly after her last daughter was born was when it all started.  I was married once before (shortly after her last was born) and at the time I didn't realize what was happening I guess.  By the time I did, 5 years had passed, the amount of time my marriage lasted.  I realized after my divorce I was isolated from everyone I had known.  I had allowed this man, this idiot to isolate me from friends and family. 

I was a young girl who married the wrong person.  Very simple.  I didn't realize until many years later how much I had allowed this person I married to take over my life.  Change me.  And I'm not really 100% sure I ever really found myself again.  I caught a glimpse right before I met M I think.  I have come to know something about myself over the years.  I allow myself to become what I think other people want me to be.  Those most important to me.  And you know what?  It's never really worked out.  So this year I am hoping to start finding myself again.  Be real again.  With myself.  Learn what I really want to do and not just do things because others expect them of me or feel I have to.

I took my first step recently!  I have felt the pull to sing again for over a year now.  Shortly after we moved here I found out about a local chorale and really wanted to join.  But then I found out their rehearsals were on Tuesday nights.  My balloon deflated before it even got off the ground.  You see, Tuesday night is the only night M actually goes and does something non-work related.  He goes and plays trivia with the neighbors and I didn't want to ask him to give that up.  I just couldn't bring myself to do it. 

Then, just after the New Year we were chatting about cooking of all things.  And somehow I ended up telling him what I really wanted to do.  I wanted to sing again and I had found out the chorale was holding mid-year auditions.  And I told him about the rehearsals and such.  And you know what?  He told me to go for it.  Gotta love him.  So, I did.  And I am on could 9 because I am singing again! 

Baby steps!

Motivation

Motivation.  I have been pondering my word for this year.  2011.  What should it be?  I keep going back and forth in my head between a few.  This one is probably my keeper.  Yes, I am a wee bit late getting started for 2011.  See, one more reason I need this as my word for 2011.  Ha!

Been pondering the Project 365 again lately.  Have tried to update the blog a few times but still haven't uploaded photos from my camera so nothing published yet.  Although after doing a few entries last night I started reconsidering my method again.  Seeing as I tended to really only update it once a week (or even every other week for that matter) I am thinking a weekly post of 2 scrap pages may be my method this year.  I came across a great template that sparked some ideas last night.  Hmm...still pondering.  Need some MOTIVATION.  ;) 

As I looked at my blog last night I noticed how pitiful my posts were last year.  I mean the number of them, the content probably was as well but hey, I won't go there.  Blogging for such a long time helped me do stuff.  It motivated me (see, that word again).  So I am going to attempt to really jump back into it.  Use it as motivation.  I don't understand why but I am one of those people that has to have something to hold me accountable.  A goal.  A deadline.  No deadline...usually no results.  So, this year I need to create my own deadlines.  My own consequences for if those deadlines are not met.  Hard part is it usually only involves me so in the end does it really matter?  Ugh!  Vicious cycle.  Yuck!

So I am one of those people that feels if it is going to be really cold outside there should at least be snow.  But no, not where I am.  We got ice.  Yucky ice.  Although I will say Noah and I had fun this morning pulling big sheets of it off my car and smashing it on the ground.  That child is fascinated with ice.  And Cameron is with snow.  It's pretty funny to watch them.  It did snow a few weeks ago and Cameron kept eating it.  I think I managed to capture a photo believe it or not. 

Happy New Year!

Okay, so the year has NOT started off the way I envisioned.  Do they ever?  Once again I was hit with the cold from you know where.  The thing would just not go away.  I think I am finally just about over it and so very thankful.  An entire week gone.  Grrr.  So, better late than never...here we go...

Happy 2011 everyone!  Hope you all have a fantastic, fantabulous year!