Yep, I am officially pondering going back to work. I guess I should say I am more than pondering. I am starting to really look into it. I really wanted to be a stay at home mom all my life. That is all I really ever wanted. Maybe I waited too long in life to have children. I don't know. But I have thought several times over the last 4 years that I may be a better mother if I actually went back to work.
I can list all kinds of reason why I should go back. Then of course the main reason for not going back is my children. It screams at me (yes, the children do too). Should I really go back? Should I try and stick it out another year and a half until they go to school? The sad truth is I would rather be a stay at home mom while they are in school. I want to be able to do things with their class and be home when they get home. To capture all those special moments I might otherwise miss.
So now I am stuck wondering just what I should do. What if I get a job and then hate it? Hate being away from my babies after all. I just never thought I would be one of those moms who actually wants to go back to work. Sigh.