What a day

I have struggled all day with my feelings over the events of today. I went this morning for a mammogram. Not the most fun thing to do or be talking about on the good old blog I know. I have struggled with whether or not to even post about this. It's all kind of surreal I guess in some ways. I knew there was a lump. I have had several over the course of the last 15 years or so. Always just been fibrous and never had to do much at all. Once I had an ultrasound when I was in my early 20s but after that they just always knew they were fibrous. They have come and gone usually. Not today.

It kind of has me freaked out. He told me it is almost certainly benign but it is that word "almost." It's not 100%. So of course they will biopsy and I will find out I am sure that it is. But it still has me freaked out. When the gal who did the ultrasound said she was going to have him look at the mammogram and the ultrasound and would be back I had this overwhelming flood of feelings hit me.

They had all these quotes posted on the ceiling and I sat and read these as I waited for the doctor to come in. I cried. I admit it. I had all these emotions going on and I had up until this morning just told myself it was nothing just as it had been in the past. I was drinking caffeine and I knew that agitated the fibrous things. That's all. Well, the reality that it wasn't that was sinking in all within the span of about 30 minutes and it all hit me at once.

When the gal returned with not only the doctor but a nurse I knew something was up. And as he spoke I could tell there was a "however" in there. And of course there was. I will say he was a very kind person and even held my hand as he delivered this news. He said all signs show that it is benign...9 out of every 10 are. So, they will biopsy next week when M returns and I am sure all will be well with the world. Just makes you realize how precious each and every minute is.

My how the time flies...

Beautiful day! Lots done and we had a nice family day for the most part. We went to breakfast and the boys had a ball. Ate everything in sight and even tried some new things.

When we got there Noah did his usual screaming thing when I went to pick him up and put him in the high chair. He hates having to be confined after having his freedom. But once he gets in the chair he is fine. The waiter laughed and said they normally scream once you get them in the chair. Then as a couple across from us was leaving they told us how well behaved our children were. I was so thankful for them to say this. You see, when Noah threw his little fit I could see all eyes on us and could hear the thoughts in their head. "Oh great, one of those families with screaming kids." I am very thankful they are usually pretty good when we go out to eat. Hence the reason I try to do this about once a week. It is a nice outing for us and they are learning to behave in public places. I just pray it continues this way!



A year ago today we made the trip from TX to here. We had never flown with the boys and were scared to say the least. They did fantastic for the whole trip and we narrowed down the area we wanted to move to. It's hard to believe that was already a year ago. In some ways it seems like yesterday and in others it seems like a million years ago. My how the time does fly.

Sweet Slumber

Well, Noah finally gave up the ghost. Over an hour after I put them down for their nap he finally fell asleep. With much protesting I might add today. I guess the last time I went in there he took me seriously when I ignored his efforts to get me to pick him up with his sleepy head self. He is so tired and yet wants so much to stay awake. Silly boy.

This is another layout I did the other day at the crop. It was nice to finally get some pages done as it seems to have been ages since I had. I used Colie's new kit, Sweet Slumber, and have fallen in love with it! Now I just have two more pages to finish up I had started that day and I will have finished six pages total in the last week. Woo-hoo!

I love this picture of the boys. When they were around three or four months old I would put them to bed each night and in the morning I would wake to find them with their little heads together. They did this for about a month until we actually had to put them each in their own cribs. They were getting too big and were moving around too much and beginning to disturb each other. Man, it always melted my heart to wake to this site. They are just so precious and this is one of those photos that brings that flood of memories back of these special moments in time.

Man, April has come and gone. What happened to it? I looked down and realized next week is it and we are on to May. Wow. I think I blinked somewhere in there.

It has been raining the last few days and I am so very happy to see the sun out today! Woo-hoo! Now it just needs to dry out a little and we will be outside enjoying the sun. Did I mention it's supposed to get up to 80 degrees in a few days? I am so excited I can hardly stand it. Don't get me wrong, I have truly enjoyed the winter here for the most part but I am ready for Spring and some sunshine. It's strange for me to be saying Spring and it be nearly May. In Texas we would have already had our week of Spring and it be on to Summer already. Kind of liking it. :)

Happy meals

Holy schnikies Batman, it's supposed to be up to 80 degrees in a few days! Woo-hoo! I can't wait. It has been raining the last few days and hovering in the 40s and 50s. So very ready for Spring!

We stayed well for nearly 2 weeks and then Saturday and Sunday Cameron ran a fever. Poor guy. I just want to make him feel better and stay that way. He seems okay today so hoping it was a short bug and all is well again.

Been super busy, more so than usual. Was able to scrap some pages. Here is one of my favorites I did Saturday.



I had different things I wanted to say for each child so did a page for each of their books. And speaking of books. I am just having such a hard time actually doing the pages for their baby books. I can't begin to tell you how many times I have sat down to scrap those pages and can just never come up with something I like. Ugh. Will get this done this year if it kills me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just popping in for a quick post. Will get a better update some time later this week. Plus need to add all my pictures for the 365 blog. So far behind these days!

WOW

Being a singer I am never one to judge until I actually hear someone sing. And even then I hate to judge but it is just in every fiber of my being to critique other singers, whether it be good or bad. I was blown away when I say this today.

I cried. It was beautiful and astounding and happens to be one of my absolute favorite songs. Les Miserable was the very first real Broadway show I ever saw. I was 17 and it captured my heart forever. And brava to this wonderful and amazing lady for living her dream!

Rainy, chilly day

The days are just flying as usual. I kept thinking all day yesterday that it was Friday. Crazy I know. I don't know that I have ever thought of a Monday as a Friday before. The boys and I played trains all afternoon. They are loving building them and watching the trains go around and around. I kept thinking how cool it would be this year to get a train that goes around the Christmas tree. They would never come away from that thing I don't believe. But it makes them happy and smile so I wouldn't mind. I love seeing my boys smile!

And speaking of smiling. Cameron has been doing so much more of it since we got the tubes put in his years. The picture above is him dancing with Noah. I am just so amazed at what a difference in his personality there is. I guess I didn't realize how bad he must have been feeling because he is now the hyper little guy we once knew a few months ago. Smiling and giggling like crazy all the time. And Noah seems happier too. Maybe he just knows his brother feeling better so he does as well. He crawled up in my lap before nap time to read books and was just grinning from ear to ear. And all I could think was this is the life. To have such amazing little guys and see those amazing little faces smile that big. Makes a mommy melt and just be so thankful to be alive.

Happy Easter!

Hope everyone had a fantastic Easter weekend. We had a nice weekend. The boys did Breakfast with the Easter Bunny on Saturday morning. Although the Easter Bunny didn't show up until we were getting ready to leave (he was running late) we still had a great breakfast and they got to run around and such. After that we headed to the Egg Hunt here in town. It was fun. The boys had more fun just playing at the park than getting the eggs. Although we discovered they love Tootsie Rolls now. :)

Today was a pretty quiet day. Looking back today I wish I had spent less time cooking and more time with the kiddos. They didn't even touch hardly anything I made for lunch. Oh well. Will know better next time. But they seemed to have fun with the eggs and things from their baskets. Now they think every time they see an egg that it will have something inside. Wonder how long that lasts? ;)

Prayers

Wow. I don't even have words tonight. Please pray for this family. I came across Cari's blog a while back and always look forward to her posts. They are such shining examples of faith and the wonders it has when you truly believe. Please keep her and her husband in your prayers as they go down this road.

To remember

re⋅mem⋅ber

   /rɪˈmɛmbər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ri-mem-ber] Show IPA –verb (used with object)

1.	to recall to the mind by an act or effort of memory; think of again: I'll try to remember the exact date.

2.	to retain in the memory; keep in mind; remain aware of: Remember your appointment with the dentist.

3.	to have (something) come into the mind again: I just remembered that it's your birthday today.

4.	to bear (a person) in mind as deserving a gift, reward, or fee: The company always remembers us at Christmas.

5.	to give a tip, donation, or gift to: to remember the needy.

6.	to mention (a person) to another as sending kindly greetings: Remember me to your family.

7.	(of an appliance, computer, etc.) to perform (a programmed activity) at a later time or according to a preset schedule: The coffeepot remembers to start the coffee at 7 a.m. every day.

8.	Archaic. to remind.

So many things I want to remember each and every day. Little things. Things the boys do or say and they make me laugh or smile. They have both started singing so much more. That is so precious to me. Cameron will sing Little Bunny Foo Foo now. He actually gets two lines into it! Noah of course loves the "bopping on the head" part of the song. We couldn't sing this for a while because he would literally try and bop you on the head. Funny. Cute.

They love to call to their daddy when he is working in his office during the day. It melts my heart. I love that they have the opportunity to have him work at home when he is in town. They are very lucky.

They are fascinated with so many new things it is so hard for me to recall all of them. They love trains and cars. Animals. Noah especially loves puppies but Cameron surprised me the other day and became attached to a new little dog I got for them.

Cameron is starting to have separation anxiety. Big time. They tell me it is common to have a second round with this at about their age. He never had it the first time (around 10 months or so). Noah still battles with separation anxiety. I think he always will.

At the end of the day I think I am just so tired I can't recall all the wonderful things from the day. I want to. I want to be able to capture them all and be able to share the little joys we have each and every day with them when they grow up. So many things I want for my children.

This is pretty funny. Any of you moms out there that has had a little one in the bath who has had an accident will laugh. Others will think it kind of gross. But hey, it was funny to me. Noah has been the only one so far to have had this happen (he is going to kill me years from now when he reads this). But now he can tell us when he wants out because he has to go. Woo-hoo!

What a difference...

Cameron did fantastic this morning. You can read more about it here. Tired and heading to bed. Finally downloaded photos from the last few days so those are up too. I have taken to writing my posts each night and then when I get a chance to download the photos publish them all. Sorry, but things have been crazy as of late so a wee bit behind. :)

Have a great weekend!

And the saga continues...

Geez. Cameron woke up with a fever of 103.8 so off to the doctor we went. Man. What a long day. But at least we will be having tubes put in first thing in the morning. They do work quickly around here so for that I am thankful! We went to his regular doctor this morning and ended up at the ENT in the afternoon. So a nice long day at doctor's offices. Thankfully I only had to bring them both to the first one and M was able to keep Noah for the second. As usual Cameron was a great trooper and played in the waiting room patiently for the hour and a half we had to wait (they had to fit us in). And luckily they will be able to take him first thing tomorrow morning for the tubes so we won't have to do another shot in the leg. Poor little guy is still complaining about his leg hurting this afternoon. Hoping this will finally end the crazy fevers in our house for a long while! Now off to bed for me!

We are once again a sick house! Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Both of the boys woke up twice last night (so total of 4 times between the 2). Noah has just been congested and not eating well. Cameron is back to running a fever, not eating at all and just laying around. I hate seeing my babies like this! When will winter end and this place get better? I even went to the doctor this morning because my ear was hurting to badly yesterday. Luckily no inner ear infection but do have one like swimmers ear. Still hurts and making me tired. Whine, whine, whine. I want some cheese to go with that now thank you. Okay, just had to be frustrated for a minute. I will say this has by far been the worst winter for sickness I have ever experienced in my 37 years on this earth!