Faith

I have always had a lot of faith. The thing is that even though I had a lot of faith I still worried. A lot. These last few years I have truly worked on not worrying. Now don't get me wrong, I still have a LONG way to go but I will say these last 2 years have made me much stronger in just believing and had much less worry to go with it.

Now you can believe in God or whoever. I personally do believe in God and tend to "talk" to Him anytime I start to worry. These last 2 months have been amazing. I thought getting our house ready to sell was going to kill me. Seriously. It took me over 6 weeks of working on the thing constantly. Some days the entire day. I felt like I went days without even seeing my own children. Not a good feeling for me.

When we finally put the thing on the market it truly wasn't "show" ready. But I figured no one would come and look at it on a holiday weekend anyway. I was right...but the last night of the 3 day weekend they called and wanted to show the house the next day. This I was not ready for. So of course we rushed around like crazy people to get the place ready. Then I stalked my email for feedback from the agent who showed the house. It was miserable. Thankfully the agent gave very prompt feedback (which spoiled us) and we felt like we were at least on the right track.

The house showed like 4 or 5 times that week. The following week we got an offer. What? I was shocked. Freaked out actually. All that week I had prayer every time I got worried that we would sell the house fairly quickly (I was thinking in the first 2 months) so that we would not have to be separated for too long. I knew it would be really tough on the boys. And who am I kidding...me too!

Well, He answered my prayers. So the next week we were scheduled to go and look at houses in NC. Little did we know at the time we scheduled the trip that we would be needing to find a house in those few days. But we did. And the first one we made an offer on didn't work out. I was sad, upset even. So we started over again and found one that would work. I was disappointed to be honest. I wanted a fixer upper and when M started looking he really wanted something move-in ready. So I just went with it. I remember thinking as I sat in the car with Noah (he had fallen asleep) that although this was a beautiful house I wasn't sure I wanted to be that far out, wasn't sure if M had thought through how much furniture and other things we would have to get rid of, wasn't sure about the neighborhood. Wasn't sure about so many things...and yet I was going with it.

Over the last week I have had time to think about this and reflect on the whole situation. I have come to realize through this entire process I have just kind of "gone with it" and look at what has happened. Not to say I haven't had my share of stressing out but over all this has been a strangely calm process for me. Although I can think of twice I had moments that I should have been thrilled, happy, and I was just the opposite. Strange I know. But now I am learning to just sit back and take me where life is leading. Now I just need to "go with it" for the next few weeks while we make the big move!

I came across this post the other night and I just thought of how perfect this was for the way I was feeling.